A few years ago, I began to wonder how I could share my ideas from Think Like a Writer with a larger audience. It just popped into my mind that maybe I could write a novel series that would tell a wild, adventurous story while modeling Think Like a Writer. I decided to call this kind of novel writing an Edu-Tainment novel. The series would follow a young writer as he develops, and each book would reflect my motto, “Never teach one thing when you can teach two or more.” In other words, these novels would be designed to entertain and to teach.
The protagonist is Charles Stratton. He is almost ten years old at the beginning of the first novel. He’s a reader, a self-learning. He is imaginative, he is starting a journal, and he loves his room overlooking the crashing waves of the Atlantic Ocean, but he is also a troubled loner who likes to stay in his room. He is an uncooperative, self-centered, angry, and, as his tutor says, a very unlikable young boy. Charles treats the mansion staff like personal servants, and even his parents don’t like him. That is what he thinks anyway. The number one mystery woven throughout this series is who his parents are, why they are always traveling outside the United States, and why Charles has no relatives or friends.
The Ghost of the Jangling Keys, book 1
At the beginning of The Ghost of the Jangling Keys, Charles’ parents inform him that he is to go to a boarding school in France. His worst tantrum ever, didn’t change their minds. He arrives in Paris and is greeted by Madam Constance, the headmistress of the school, and Jacque, the silent driver of the Citroen, no doubt a spy or a gangster. They drive several hours south of Paris.
When Charles sees the Chateau du Mont surrounded by an old stone wall topped with rolls of barbed wire, he jumps out of the slow-moving car and runs towards a wooded area. Exhausted, he dives behinds a bush, looks up, and there’s the driver, Jacques, frowning down at him. He picks him up like a sack of potatoes and throws him in the back seat. Madam Constance grabs his arm. Jacques drives through an iron gate, and Charles hears the click of a lock. He is trapped.
He is determined to run away, but things keep stopping him. Soon, he is involved in ghostly encounters, hidden treasures, and secret journals. The Ghost of the Jangling Keys is more than just a ghost story; it’s an adventure of the imagination and spirit, and the beginning of discovering who he is and how he relates to those around him.
F
Think Like a Writer Element
- Fact and fiction in fiction writing
- Vocabulary Building-
- Prospectives, and choices
- Introduction to Poetry
- Character Development
- Use of Food, Smells, and Sounds in writing
- Journal Writing
- Classic Books for Youths, and how to read them
- Trust and relationship building
Main Characters
Charles Dayton Stratton III
Charles Parents
Mr. Christopher, Tutor
Madam Constance, headmistress
Jacques Gerard, a timid all-around man at the Chateau du Monte
De Nuit, black cat
Farak, Egyptian Prince
David Montgomery, unwanted roommate
Fran Bernstein, mathematical genius
Mademoiselle Fleuret, Art Teacher- Photographer’s Club
Mr. Endres, Gymnastic teacher
Bernadette Phillips-part-time cook
Augustus, orphan and Polyglot
French Revolution Story
Jean and Caresse, Ghosts
Mother of Jean and Caresse
Father of Jean and Caresse
Oh my, I am going to tell a little about the end. Charles, age 11, has been published in “Ghost Story Magazine.” They sent him a $500 check and a list of One Thousand Haunted Places.At the top of the list was Tel El Amarna, Egypt. Egypt was his favorite place in the whole world. But how would he get there? This takes us to the second book, The Ghost of Tomb 11, Tel el Amarna.
Softbound 323 pages.
Review
able to analyze your book worthy of it’s merits.
Your knowledge of French history is very impressive.
I was reading with special interest Charles’ desire to escape from the boarding school, because he felt ignored by his parents. Since I was in boarding school, I escaped three times successfully, but my parents always took me back. The story is imaginative and mysterious, and it would be great reading for teenage children or even those adults who are young at heart. Also would be interesting to see it on the big screen!
CONGRATULATION !
Love,
Susan
The Ghost of Tomb 11, Tel el Amarna, Egypt
From the beginning of my Edu-Tainment series, I knew my second book would be about Egypt.iEgypt has always been one of my favorite foreign country, since I was a very young child. As I grew up I went to every museum’s Egyptian’s section I could find, read every book about Egypt, I could check out or buy. I went to the King Tut exhibit twice, once in Los Angeles and once in Seattle, and then I went to Egypt twice.
In 2007, I toured with Danielle Rama Hoffman. That was the time I first heard about the Wisdom Keeper, Key Holder, Dr. Abd’el Hakim Awyan. I was fascinated by this wise and wonderful man. Although he died in 2008, his ideas and his personality were captured on YouTube and in books. I joined the school of Khemitology and watched his videos over and over again, until I felt I had captured his personality and many of his ideas.
Wisdom Keeper
Author’s Note Dr. Awyan in Fiction.
In Tomb 11, Charles meets Dr. Awyan, who recognizes this almost twelve-year-old’s interest and knowledge of ancient Egypt. He even invites Charles and Jacques to join his tour inside the Great Pyramid. When Charles goes missing a few days later, it just seemed natural that Dr. Awyan would let the people who have gathered to search for the boy stay at the mythical Khemitology School Inn and provide guidance and support. This is the only real person in Tomb 11, Tel el amarna, except for Akhenaten and his family, and the ghost of tomb 11.
When I was close to finishing Tomb 11, I contacted Patricia Awyan, a family member and initiate of Dr. Awyan. I joined her tour group, Horus Rising, in 2024. It was a wonderful tour. I had a chance to tell her about my book and Dr. Awyan’s part. I was grateful when Patricia said that she was sure Hakim would be happy to be part of my Edu-Tainment Novel.
The Ghost of Tomb 11, Tel el Amarna is a classic coming-of-age story and a surprising Hero’s journey, as the timid all-around man sets out to find his missing ward, on a reluctant camel, facing the heat and the cold of the Western Desert.
The Ghost of Tomb 11 has humor, history, adventure, mystery, ghosts, and a plausible idea of what happened to Akhenaten’s great treasure, and continues to model Charles as he develops as a writer.
Research in Fiction
Egyptian Mathematics
Deeper into poetry
Story inside
Inspiration and imagination
Character development
Dialogue
Physics
Transformation
Humor
Use of quotes from intellectuals to add authority, credibility, and elegance to their arguments, making complex ideas more concise and memorable.
Quoting Music
Movie references
Major Characters
Charles Stratton is to go to Egypt to find the Ghost of Tomb 11
Jacques Gerard, a timid all-around man who agrees to take Charles to Egypt
Mr. Smith, a suspicious person on the plane, then in Egypt
David Montgomery, Charles; roommate
Mrs. Dorothy Montgomery, mystery writer, grandmother of David, Charles’ roomate.
Mr. George Montgomery, David’s grandfather
Farak, Egyptian prince
Madam Constance
Samy, taxi driver
Dr. Awyan and son, Yosef
Mademoiselle Fleuret
Fran Bernstein, mathematical genius
Dr. Carolyn Bernstein, Fran’s mother
Dr. Charles Stratton, Charles’ possible grandfather
Alfred P. Hart, butler
Dr. McAllister, Guide at the Egyptian Museum
Mandisa, own and cook of the Pizza Parlor
Tiye, Mandisa’s daughter
Subira
Rehima
Desert Family
Saki, caretaker at Temple of Sobek
Meriaten, part Egyptian and part British, father is a Lord
Meriaten’s mother
Headmistress of the Temple of Sobek
Akhenaten
Nefertiti
Meriaten
Amenhotep III
Yuba, Tiye’s childhood and adult friend
Tiye
Tutkanaten
Caboose, Jacques’ camel
Meriaten’s father
Ghost
Farak’s mother,
Farak’s Father
Farak’s grandfather
Reviews
First thank you for trusting me with such a generous slice of The Ghost of Tomb 11. I read it smiling from the very first exchange between Dorothy and George, and by the time Dorothy was brandishing her fifty-thousand-dollar check in Cairo, I was laughing out loud. Truly. You made my day.
What I love most is Dorothy herself: a grandmother of ten, refusing to be reduced to anyone’s idea of what that should look like. Her Oscar Wilde and Dickens volleys are delightful, and the way she gently dismantles George’s assumptions about age, marriage, ambition, even what “proper feelings” are meant to be feels both funny and quietly radical.
The idea of a lifelong reader being pulled into writing, guided by Rumi and emboldened by Mark Twain and Dorothy L. Sayers, is such a warm, affirming arc. It captures something real about how stories choose us long before we choose them. And her defence of mysteries—as comfort in hospital waiting rooms, as companions through grief and boredom—was deeply moving. That part landed in my chest.
The Mystery of the Woman in the Red Hat: Mandalay, Myanmar, and the idea that there are thousands of cities waiting. What a wonderful, mischievous way to claim the world as your canvas. George is worried that their vacations are being turned into fiction. That’s exactly the sort of marital friction that makes characters breathe.
Mary
THE GHOST OF TOMB 11, TEL EL AMARNA, EGYPT
Adventurous, Intriguing & Educational Another wonderful book! Ms. Torribio’s depth of knowledge for not only literature but all things Egyptian made this an exciting read…again, one for all ages. There’s plenty of adventure and intrigue! The very interesting and often quirky characters are so well developed I felt like I was there with them. I found the book fun and fascinating. The author has a way of including plenty of historical and, therefore, educational information, all skillfully woven into the story. It took me on an incredible journey. Brilliant writing! Now awaiting the next adventure…watched the video again, and this time my audio was working. It is beautiful and fascinating. The images pull you in different world. You feel the essence of magic as time stands still. This is a contribution to art and culture. I still hear the haunting flute. Exceptional. Thank you, Penelope, for sharing.
Ann Broadbent
Dialogue example, and humor
Copied from ebook, ignore errors. This is a dialogue between Mr. and Mrs. Montegomery, when she informs him that she is a published mystery writer.
“Please sit down, Dorothy,” Mr. Montgomery said, seating himself across from his wife. “It appears to me that this trip to Cairo and the extreme desert heat have been a little too much for you. You’re not acting like the woman I married.”
“I should hope not,” Mrs. Montgomery said. “I was twenty-one at our wedding, and I’ve learned a few things since then. As for me being unbalanced by the heat, except for my profound sorrow that Charles has not yet been found, I have never felt better in my life.”
She patted her husband’s hand. “If you must go home, George, then you must. David and I, however, are staying.”
“I don’t believe this is advisable, Dorothy. “
” We’ll be perfectly safe here,” Mrs. Montgomery said. “David has sworn he won’t leave Egypt until we’ve found Charles. And as you may have noticed, my particular skills and talents are necessary for the success of this mission.”
“Success of this mission!” Mr. Montgomery spluttered. “What do you mean, talking like this? These are “not the words of a grandmother of ten.”
“How do grandmothers talk, George?” his wife inquired. “I’d be interested to know.”
“They don’t stand up in front of a bunch of people with butcher paper and colored pens, gathering clues and assigning jobs. “
“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?”
George frowned. “Are you saying you’re not happy with me? We’ve been married for forty years, Dorothy. “
“Oh, George, that is a quote by Oscar Wilde, one of our favorite English writers,” Mrs. Montgomery said with a titter. “It has been a good forty years. However, ‘It is a wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be a profound secret and mystery to every other,’ as Charles Dickens wrote.”
And exactly what profound secret or mystery do you have, Mrs. Montgomery?” George asked.
“I’m so glad you inquired,” Dorothy said, leaning towards her husband. “As you know, reading has been my lifelong passion. A few years ago, it began to seem as though the books I read were speaking to me, encouraging me to start writing,“ She held up a check.
“A check for fifty thousand dollars? You…you are carrying around a check for fifty thousand dollars in your purse, in Egypt! Have you lost your mind, Dorothy? “
I received a letter from my publisher just before we left for the airport,” his wife explained calmly. “I shoved the envelope into my purse without looking at it. When I opened the envelope, I found this check.”
“You got a fifty-thousand-dollar check from your publisher?” Mr. Montgomery held his hands at his sides, palms up, as if asking the universe to help him understand.
“It’s actually an advance for my author’s tour. I meant to tell you about it, as the U.S. Coast to Coast Author’s Tour for Mystery Writers is coming up soon. However, things got a little complicated. Once here in Cairo, I naturally started using my skill as a mystery writer to help find Charles.”
“Writing detective stories doesn’t make you a detective. And you’re not going on a U.S. author’s tour by yourself,” he said staunchly.”
“Do you mean you intend on going with me on the author’s tour?” Mrs. Montgomery asked, smiling broadly. “That would be so wonderful, George.”
“I don’t know what I meant, but I know one thing. I’m telling our children about this, and they’re going to be very upset.”
“Mothers are used to upsetting their children,” Mrs. Montgomery said. “Sometimes I think this might be one of our primary functions.”
“You did all of this without telling me?” George said, waving his hands in the air.
“At first, I thought you wouldn’t be interested. You were always so busy with the shipping company. And when I started writing, I had no idea anyone would be interested in reading one of my stories. I was just following the Persian mystic Rumi, who said, ‘Let yourself be drawn by the strange pull of what you love, it will not lead you astray.’ I was being pulled, George, pulled to write.”
“Pulled to write mystery books?“
Ignoring his comment, his wife said, “After writing my first book, ‘The Mystery of the Woman in the Red Hat,’ I read a quote by Mark Twain. He said, ‘Write without pay until someone offers you pay. If nobody offers within three years, the candidate may look upon this as a sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.’ “I could not help myself,” Mrs. Montgomery continued. “I sent my manuscript to a publishing company. My intent was to find out if I should be content with sawing wood, or if writing was what I was intended for. I know what you’re thinking,” she continued. “Anybody with proper, sensitive feelings would rather scrub floors for a living. But I should scrub floors very badly, and I write detective stories rather well. I don’t see why proper feelings should prevent me from doing my proper job.”
“Now see here, Dorothy,” Mr. Montgomery exclaimed, “I never wanted you to scrub floors!
“Oh, George, that’s a quote by another suspense writer, Dorothy L. Sayers. The point being that, as it turns out, I too write detective stories rather well. The next thing I knew, I was published, and my publisher was asking for another book, which, thankfully, I had already begun.
“Wouldn’t it be better to write things you know about, like the history of women in soccer, or gardening? You love gardening.
”Mrs. Montgomery corrected him. “I used to love gardening, but I have little time for gardening now.”
“You’ve given up gardening!”
“See how busy you are, George? The flowers failed to come up, and you didn’t even notice.”
“I’m sorry, Dorothy,” Mr. Montgomery said.
“And what’s wrong with mysteries?” his wife asked. “A newer author, Donna Tartt, asserts it’s a moral duty for a novelist to entertain and distract. She said, ‘People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying.’ I understood exactly what she meant.”
Dorothy reached out, clasping both of George’s hands. “Throughout my life, mystery books helped me through moments of great stress, like when one of our children was in the hospital. They helped me through times of boredom. They allowed for great moments of relaxation, which is very hard to come by if you have five children and ten grandchildren. I have read hundreds of mystery books by authors like Agatha Christie, Arthur Conan Doyle, Dorothy Gilman, Elizabeth Peters, Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett,” Mrs. Montgomery continued. “From reading these mystery books, stories began to form in my mind. “
“I just think you might have told me about this sooner, Dorothy,” Mr. Montgomery said.
“Since the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, let me tell you about my ongoing series. Each book is called ‘The Mystery of the Woman in the Red Hat,’ followed by a colon and the name of a city. The one I’m working on now is The Mystery of the Woman in the Red Hat: Mandalay, Myanmar. The great thing is that I can go on forever, since there are thousands of cities around the world.”
“Look here, Dorothy, you’re taking our perfectly good vacations and turning them into mysteries. I consider that an invasion of our privacy.”
“Our trips are lovely, but they hardly make for thrilling reading.”
Excerpt From
The Ghost of Tomb 11, Tel el Amarna, Egypt
Penelope Torribio
First thank you for trusting me with such a generous slice of The Ghost of Tomb 11. I read it smiling from the very first exchange between Dorothy and George, and by the time Dorothy was brandishing her fifty-thousand-dollar check in Cairo, I was laughing out loud. Truly. You made my day.
What I love most is Dorothy herself: a grandmother of ten, refusing to be reduced to anyone’s idea of what that should look like. Her Oscar Wilde and Dickens volleys are delightful, and the way she gently dismantles George’s assumptions about age, marriage, ambition, even what “proper feelings” are meant to be feels both funny and quietly radical.
The idea of a lifelong reader being pulled into writing, guided by Rumi and emboldened by Mark Twain and Dorothy L. Sayers, is such a warm, affirming arc. It captures something real about how stories choose us long before we choose them. And her defence of mysteries—as comfort in hospital waiting rooms, as companions through grief and boredom—was deeply moving. That part landed in my chest.
The Mystery of the Woman in the Red Hat: Mandalay, Myanmar, and the idea that there are thousands of cities waiting. What a wonderful, mischievous way to claim the world as your canvas. George is worried that their vacations are being turned into fiction? That’s exactly the sort of marital friction that makes characters breathe.
Another wonderful book! Ms. Torribio’s depth of knowledge for not only literature but all things Egyptian made this an exciting read…again, one for all ages. There’s plenty of adventure and intrigue! The very interesting and often quirky characters are so well developed I felt like I was there with them. I found the book fun and fascinating. The author has a way of including plenty of historical and, therefore, educational information, all skillfully woven into the story. It took me on an incredible journey. Brilliant writing! Now awaiting the next adventure…watched the video again, and this time my audio was working. It is beautiful and fascinating. The images pull you in different world. You feel the essence of magic as time stands still. This is a contribution to art and culture. I still hear the haunting flute. Exceptional. Thank you, Penelope, for sharing.